Many are aware of the struggle Michelle and I have faced on our journey to have a child. We thank you for all of the support we have received through out the years of our trials and unfortunate failures.
I now ask that you take a look around this site as I recap our situation, our journey, and our upcoming endeavors.
Once you have a better understanding of our situation, I ask that you support us on our (hopeful) upcoming adoption. Whether its through personal support or our much needed financial support, anything from $1 to $xxxx will help us make our dream come true.
Adoption- The Attorney, The Wait, The Cost!!
Adoption is:
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth (or "biological") mother or father. An adoption order has the effect of severing the parental responsibilities and rights of the birth parent(s) and transferring those responsibilities and rights to the adoptive parent(s). After the finalization of an adoption, there is no legal difference between adopted children and those born to the parents.
The Attorney:
We are working with an attorney that specializes in adoptions. Shorstein and Kelly is a law firm that assits couples in Floridia and across the country. They have assisted over 1,500 familes to reah their dreams of parenthood. You can visit them here:
http://www.adoption-usa.com/
You can check their website for more information. We requested brochure information that I will include on here once we receive it.
Identified adoptions:
We are going to be going through with an "identified" adoption. Identified adoptions are when the adoptive parents have identified their own birth mother. Or, when an adoptive family has identified a child for adoption.
We have identified our birth mother.
Open Adoptions:
There are many different types of adoption plans. Our adoption will be an open adoption. Today, open adoptions are more heard of. This is when the communication between adoptive family and the birth mother exhange personal information. Open adoptions allow the adoptive family and adopted child to interact directly with the birth mother. Communication may include letters, emails and telephone calls. The frequency of contact can range from every few years to several times a month or more, depending on the needs and wishes of all involved.Open adoption is based on relationships and, like all relationships, grows and changes over time. As birth and adoptive families grow and change, the need for communication changes as well. For example, older adopted children may have more questions about their birth family than they had as toddlers. Adoptive and birth parents need to be open to the needs of children as they get older and gain a sense of ownership over the relationship they have with their birth families. The goals of open adoption are to minimize the child's loss of relationships and to allow the child to resolve losses with truth rather than fantasy. Open adoption is based on relationships and, like all relationships, grows and changes over time.
The Wait:
The wait time can vary widely depending on many things. An adoptive family might wait 1, or several more years for a birth mother to choose her family. Or an adoptive family might be choosen quickly after the birth mother looks through profiles of many waiting adoptive familes. The birth mother could be just very newly pregnant or 8 1/2 months pregnant. Or, adoptive familes may take on the responsibilty of searching for a birth mother on their own. They may find a birth mother right away, or take several years. So the wait time could be anywhere from just a few weeks to a few years.
With us, we have just 3 months to wait. Our birth mother, due in August, located us on her own, through this website.
The Cost:
We are estimating the cost to be around $25,000. This includes travel expenses. We will be meeting with our birth mother in June and then will fly back again to be with her and the baby for the birth. This will include flight tickets for 2 from Guam to the states, hotel, meals and transportation.
We have to account for the home study. This can be around $2,000 plus or minus. (details of the home study will be below)
UPDATE ON HOME STUDY
We completed the home study, and the cost was, $850, plus $1000 for her travel and hotel.
Also accounted for is the attorney fees, legal fees, and the passport for the child. This is to include birth mother expenses such as: living expenses, medical costs, counseling and other miscellaneous costs.
Our Financial Situation:
I understand we are asking for alot by asking for donations. And it is hard for me to ask. But this process has proceeded rather fast. We began the process just 2 months ago. 3 weeks ago we found the mother is Due August 3rd. Now the attorney wants money, the homestudy needs done asap, and we need to fly back and forth to the US multiple times.
Financially we have $10,000 in cash. I took out 2 credit cards totalling $10,000 so we are barely short. That is where donations come in. I have tried loans, but due to being military and not owning a home, banks will not lend that much money with no collateral. I have amazing credit and am financially responsible, with a 810 credit score, but unfortunatly with the short time, this does little to nothing for me.
I am doing everything I can to raise the money, to include selling my car :(
The home study:
There is a lot invloved with the home study. This is one of the most important, if not the most important pasrt of the adoption process in the very begining. Without a home study, adoptive parents can not adopt. What is needed for the home study? Here are just a few things to give you an idea.
Marriage certificate, Divorce certificate (if it applies), Birth certificates, Driver's licenses, Passports, Military ID (if this applies), 1 page life story for each adoptive parent to include- childhood, parents, school, events and how you met your spouse, A few photos so a better idea of us is given. We need financial statements to incldue- all income, accounts, debts, loans, mortgage, and a letter from employer to verify income, how much you earn, how long you been employed and that you have a stable position. Copies of past federal tax returns, bank statements and rental agreements. We will have to include copies of medical exams including HIV status, copy of medical insurance coverage and copy of policy. We have to have an FBI clearance, child abuse registry release, background check and military clearance (if it applies). We have to have 3 letters of reference to NOT include family members. 1 from someone we have known for 5 years, 1 from a neighbor, and 1 other from a friend, boss or clergy. We also have to have parenting classes.
Click to make a donation. Donations are made through PAYPAL. You can use any credit card to make your payment. If you do not have a paypal account, it is easy AND secure to establish one. If you need help, please contact me at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
Any Donation is helpful. I would rather have small donations over time so to not burden you. I will have a page that is updated regularly showing total raised. If you would like your name to appear, please let me know!!
(If donate link doesnt work, you can send paypal funds to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
)
I will also accept personal checks to avoid paypal fees. check the donate page for info.
